Dear Flies,
I barely tolerate your existence. I am however willing to let you live your short, stupid lives in peace if you would please do me one favor. Stop. Fornicating. On. Me. I am repulsed by the idea of it. Don't act like you don't either. I know that one of 2 things would be going on if I got on top of another human and began violently buzzing. Care to take a guess? Sex and Rape. The only difference between the two- one isn't consensual. which I'm fairly certain is the case in this house. I personally do not see pleasure in the eye's of the victim. Nor do I see it in the dominatrix's eyes. Perhaps because flies are not capable of expressing such things with their stupid little faces. regardless. Sex on my arm, leg, head, fingers, toes, it's not okay. So unless you want me to keep my flyswatter by me at all times, taking out everyone, even the innocent ones (assuming there are innocent ones, which I highly doubt), stop!
. So little flies, its up to you. Death because you like to have sex on me, or a long life where you can fornicate anywhere else. Heck, I'll even let you use my room! as long as you put a rubberband on my doorknob so I know you've got a "study partner" in there.
sincerely, the other, very irritated, resident.
Update that makes me sad and grossed out: I just found a crusty dead fly stuck in between 2 of the keys in the keyboard... I don't know how long he's been there. I hope he didn't read my blog and become irrationally upset and take his own life so I would think before I hurt another creature's feelings.
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